An excerpt from today’s writings.

Round 3 of chemotherapy has kicked my ass.
I am tired. Angry. Bitter. Yet disgustingly positive that I will see through this darkness and laugh in the face of this bullshit disease.  This is the darkest post I hope to ever make.  The curse words and anger will undoubtedly see Ellen and the rest of the daytime talk show circuit exclude me from their shows of hope.  I don’t care.  This blog was made to cheer up the real fighters of cancer. Those who have gone through so much more than I.  Those colon cancer survivors who have done 20 plus rounds of chemotherapy while still keeping their shit together (no pun intended).  I’m a fool  Third round.  Chemo fighter.  Losing it.

I self talk. I yell to the Gods.  I beg for my legs to move!!  They respond like beaten dogs, afraid of their master.

Here is an excerpt of today’s, The Funny Thing About Cancer:

I write, not for everyone else.  Although, it sounds nice when I say I want to have a book in every cancer center across North America.  I really do.  I just know that, first of all, society, we are pretty full of shit.  No one reads.  My best bet would be a dual DVD with Katy Perry where she laments on the fact that positivity is the key to happiness.  Hopefully she is in something skimpy, then people would watch.  She wouldn’t be wrong, good old Katy.  But us cancer fighters, we know, positivity doesn’t make your legs work.  It doesn’t make your eyes want to open and it certainly doesn’t make you look healthy, feel healthy and want to do healthy things. 

Some days, I just pray to God.  A God, I don’t even believe it.  I wish I had Ellen’s phone to call God.  Hoping, he or she will forgive the fact that I don’t have anything to do with their charitable donation scheme; then spit down some magic to make me feel okay.   I don’t think that’ll ever happen, but it sure is funny to think about.

Ill just be the shark dancing to it’s own tune. For now.

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I love all of you for helping me through this fight.
Please help me with this book, or not.  Just share this page. Anything.  I am a fighter. I am a comedian.  I am a brother.  I am a winner.  And I will help others beat this garbage disease.

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the-funny-thing-about-cancer-the-book-of-smiles/x/5589211

I’ve been quiet too long!

I have been been quiet about this subject too long.

I am a New England Patriots fan.  I empathize with the team.

You may have heard that they are in trouble with the NFL for providing game balls that were slightly deflated.  I took to twitter to speak out.

Yes, I CAN SIR!

What I told my Facebook followers:

I’ve spent a long time Googling how I am supposed to behave. How am I supposed to carry myself. How do I operate on social media while I go through this challenge? Every advice column had a common theme; just be yourself and do exactly what makes you happy. Well, what society views as an off-limit subject, I take pride in making that subject funny. That said, here I am, telling you Facebook ‘friends’ that I have recently been diagnosed with Stage 3 Esophageal Cancer. I find out next week if it is localized (that means I have a 50% chance of living), if it is not localized, 2-3 years and I’m a goner.

Anyway, I leave on Tuesday for Toronto to get Canada’s best care (chemo and surgery) from Canada’s expert on my type of cancer; Dr. Gail Darling.

I am going to be making light of my challenge over the next while. If you cannot handle jokes about a 28 year old, full of life, awesome dude potentially dying – feel free to unfollow me.

This is my last weekend in Windsor for the next 2-3 months at least so come hang with us at Comedy Quarry and have a laugh.

Please don’t post stupid fucking motivational memes on my wall. Thanks. -Josh

Liquor Companies Need Me.

I was having a discussion with some friends the other day and the following three truths were discovered:
-Drinking alcohol is fun.
-Hangovers are not fun.
-If we could drink without having a hangover we would do it daily.

The solution seemed so simple.  Liquor companies should reinvest their profits to create a pill or serum or suppository that cures hangovers. 

People who are drinking don’t ‘take it easy’ because they hate fun.  They ‘take it easy’ because they hate hangovers. 

My experience in this field is remarkable, if any liquor companies would like to discuss my hangover cure findings, I can be emailed here.