An excerpt from today’s writings.

Round 3 of chemotherapy has kicked my ass.
I am tired. Angry. Bitter. Yet disgustingly positive that I will see through this darkness and laugh in the face of this bullshit disease.  This is the darkest post I hope to ever make.  The curse words and anger will undoubtedly see Ellen and the rest of the daytime talk show circuit exclude me from their shows of hope.  I don’t care.  This blog was made to cheer up the real fighters of cancer. Those who have gone through so much more than I.  Those colon cancer survivors who have done 20 plus rounds of chemotherapy while still keeping their shit together (no pun intended).  I’m a fool  Third round.  Chemo fighter.  Losing it.

I self talk. I yell to the Gods.  I beg for my legs to move!!  They respond like beaten dogs, afraid of their master.

Here is an excerpt of today’s, The Funny Thing About Cancer:

I write, not for everyone else.  Although, it sounds nice when I say I want to have a book in every cancer center across North America.  I really do.  I just know that, first of all, society, we are pretty full of shit.  No one reads.  My best bet would be a dual DVD with Katy Perry where she laments on the fact that positivity is the key to happiness.  Hopefully she is in something skimpy, then people would watch.  She wouldn’t be wrong, good old Katy.  But us cancer fighters, we know, positivity doesn’t make your legs work.  It doesn’t make your eyes want to open and it certainly doesn’t make you look healthy, feel healthy and want to do healthy things. 

Some days, I just pray to God.  A God, I don’t even believe it.  I wish I had Ellen’s phone to call God.  Hoping, he or she will forgive the fact that I don’t have anything to do with their charitable donation scheme; then spit down some magic to make me feel okay.   I don’t think that’ll ever happen, but it sure is funny to think about.

Ill just be the shark dancing to it’s own tune. For now.

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I love all of you for helping me through this fight.
Please help me with this book, or not.  Just share this page. Anything.  I am a fighter. I am a comedian.  I am a brother.  I am a winner.  And I will help others beat this garbage disease.

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the-funny-thing-about-cancer-the-book-of-smiles/x/5589211

The Funny Thing About Cancer Book Preview.

The book is coming along great!  It gets better the more I have to deal with my annoying cancer.
If you want to support the book you can in a few ways:
1) Make a contribution!
2) Share the link on all social media and hopefully get others to look at the page.
3) Send the link to media outlet friends you know and hopefully we can get some traction that way.

Here are a couple excerpts from the book, again this is uncut and raw.  Just like cancer:

From page 4:
‘So we have established I am a bit of a ‘say anything’ type.  Still reading?  Great!  I promise it will all start to make sense.  I am young, way too young to be dying this quickly.  I phrase it as, ‘dying this quickly’ because we are all dying.  I am so philosophical right?
If you look at time on a long enough scale, you could easily sit back and admit that none of this matters.  Nothing we do each day means anything at all in the grand scheme of things.  One hundred years ago, and a hundred years from now; everything is irrelevant.  The world will always keep turning.  Even if our friends in North Korea blow a bunch of it up, it will still stand, still spinning, still doing it’s thing.  You and I have an immeasurable small impact on the universe.  Waxing poetic, we can go further; our memories, the people we love, our dreams, our fears and our passions are all nothing.
Screw philosophy though right?  We all just want to f**king live!’

From page 32:
‘The chemotherapy lounge is the most depressing place on earth.  If you are reading this in a cancer center, look around you.  Sad is it not?  How can people expect to beat the world’s deadliest disease while being a sad sack and moping around?  The depression level in those places is the same as the group that hangs out at the Denny’s bar on a Wednesday at last call.  They all have no where to be and accept that they will probably be back tomorrow.  It is time for people to start beating cancer with a positive mental attitude.  Get talking about it.  It doesn’t have to be the end of your life, until, you know, it is actually the end of your life.  Which statistically is coming soon – but you aren’t going to allow yourself to be a statistic are you?’ ‘

From page 73:
‘What if there was a reality TV show that followed around a family who all had cancer?  It could be called 8 Tumors and Counting or something.  A quick shot of one of the children yelling, ‘Mom, where is the hairbrush?…never mind!  Just kidding!’.  Then the whole family laughs together in their bald, warm and loving glory.’

GET THE BOOK HERE:
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the-funny-thing-about-cancer-the-book-of-smiles/x/5589211#home

I Am Making My Book A Reality.

So after weeks of writing funny anecdotes about cancer and taking to people in a similar situation about my idea; I have decided to take the first step in publishing and distributing my book The Funny Thing About Cancer.  Too many people, like me, have walked into a bookstore after being diagnosed with cancer and then left with a book that will only disappoint them.

Help make my book a reality.  Check out the link below.  Please share it with anyone you think would enjoy the message.

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/josh-haddon-the-funny-thing-about-cancer-book/x/5589211

Thank you everyone for all the support – it truly means the world to me!

Fight Club inspired poem – 10 years old.

I was looking through an old, forgotten, unpublished blog of mine and found this Fight Club inspired poem. Seems pretty relevant today.  I stopped writing poetry years ago because I figured that’s not what men do. Boy, was I wrong.
Men cry. Men love.  Men feel.

I am Josh’s Sense of Self.

I am Josh’s sense of self.
Like the seasons, but less predictable.
I am calculated and tired.
I know nothing and feel torn.
I just can’t quite put my finger on anything.
But I act confident.
And tell Josh what he wants to hear.
But deep down, I am out of control.
I am losing my grip and it may all come crashing down.
I hope Josh figures me out.
For his sake.
—-

Again, I cannot thank you all for the well wishes and support.  I am going to ride this wave and together, with you all on side, I am going to beat this cancer.  I am.  I am.  I am.
Find me on Twitter or Instagram @hahahaddon or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/haddon

The Funny Thing About Cancer…

Much to everyones (my Mom’s) dismay, I am working out the kinks to start a video blog (vlog) that attempts to bring you all the lighter side of cancer.  I am not a cancer expert, but I am very good at reading people and for the most part, people suck at dealing with someone who has cancer.  Fuck that.

I am Josh Haddon.  I am a brother, a son, a friend, a dreamer and an entrepreneur.
I am a comedian, humorist, writer and all around pretty wicked dude.
That is what I am.

I also happen to have this thing called, cancer.

I am not cancer.  I AM what I wrote above.

Cancer does not define me.  I have it.  It sucks, and I am trying to get rid of it.  It’s just a shitty pet that pisses all over everything and bites my friends – believe me, I am working on putting it down.

That may be a shitty analogy, but hey, I have cancer, I am allowed to make shitty analogies. 🙂

I will be honest, most people have been amazing.  They have been so supportive and sweet – enough to make you sick really.  However, behind their sweetness and support is fear.  Fear I will die.  Fear they will say the wrong thing.  Fear they too, might one day, get this shitty pet that is hard to put the fuck down.

People are calling my cancer all sorts of fucked up shit.  ‘The Big C’, ‘pretty bad news’, ‘the diagnoses’ – and other random, made up garbage.  I get it though, for too long cancer has been a super scary word.  So scary that friends of mine who use the real ‘c-word’ before noon, still will not say it.

I hope my future produced video blog ‘The Funny Thing About Cancer’ can help slowly remove the fear from the word. Hopefully it can add a little light and also, brighten a fellow cancer-haver’s day.

You can follow my The Funny Thing About Cancer Video Log on YouTube.  The first video should be up by the weekend and will not be more than 3-4 minutes long.  You can subscribe by clicking here:
https://www.youtube.com/user/imjoshhaddon

I have a PET Scan at the hospital tomorrow that I’m worried about.  My gerbil doesn’t travel well.
(terrible joke end)

Yes, I CAN SIR!

What I told my Facebook followers:

I’ve spent a long time Googling how I am supposed to behave. How am I supposed to carry myself. How do I operate on social media while I go through this challenge? Every advice column had a common theme; just be yourself and do exactly what makes you happy. Well, what society views as an off-limit subject, I take pride in making that subject funny. That said, here I am, telling you Facebook ‘friends’ that I have recently been diagnosed with Stage 3 Esophageal Cancer. I find out next week if it is localized (that means I have a 50% chance of living), if it is not localized, 2-3 years and I’m a goner.

Anyway, I leave on Tuesday for Toronto to get Canada’s best care (chemo and surgery) from Canada’s expert on my type of cancer; Dr. Gail Darling.

I am going to be making light of my challenge over the next while. If you cannot handle jokes about a 28 year old, full of life, awesome dude potentially dying – feel free to unfollow me.

This is my last weekend in Windsor for the next 2-3 months at least so come hang with us at Comedy Quarry and have a laugh.

Please don’t post stupid fucking motivational memes on my wall. Thanks. -Josh